I got into this work because I wonder a lot about how, why, and whether things are the way they seem to be.
It all started in 1975...
My sister and I were riding with our Dad in his Buick, going home from church. There must've been a sermon that Sunday that a five-year-old could understand because I was thinking really deep thoughts. From the back seat while practicing tying my shoes, I wondered what's behind everything. I imagined telescoping out from our car and neighborhood to the edge of the universe, then slowly peeling away the whole starry dark scene, like a poster from a wall. I didn't get past the top left corner. It was incomprehensible, whatever was back there. Maybe it was the big guy mentioned in the sermon. Maybe it was a monster. It wasn't clear to me at all. Curious but afraid, I went back to tying my shoes.
The day the lightbulb went on...
I decided to become a therapist after a talk given by His Holiness the Dalai Lama at Rutgers University in 2005. Someone in the thousands-large audience asked him how we could conquer aggression in the world. He said something like: "Know yourself." It sounded irrelevant at first, then brilliant. I took it to mean that winning any war on aggression starts at home -- literally at home -- within our own minds, bodies, families, and communities.
Given success in my own therapy, I believed that with the right training, I could help others recognize that their enemies were close, and that the potential for peacemaking was therefore within reach. So, I went to graduate school for some professional training. Next up in 2011, my wondering found structure and encouragement in spiritual training that continues daily. In 2014, with my sister's encouragement before she passed, Conditions for Change, LLC was formed, located since 2019 in Glenmoore.
What happens in therapy here...
In a safe, respectful space, we will wonder about what has gone wrong for you. We will bring curiosity to assumptions about yourself and others you may not know you had. Through exploring how your habits of thought and behavior have come to be, it will become clearer how the conditions you've known have both served and limited you. You'll be encouraged and equipped to cultivate a more flexible, daring sense of yourself and others, despite the pull of old ways. You will become less afraid of yourself and even this world, despite however it is currently falling apart. You'll become less surprised and threatened by suffering, no matter its bad timing or triggering presentation. You will at the very least become aware of alternative possibilities, and likely more inviting and appreciative of joy. This is my confident hope for you, and all beings.
Thank you on behalf of all
who will benefit from your wondering.