Rumi says: "Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing there is a field. I’ll meet you there." Your patients and colleagues have zero interest in meeting you in that field. They want you to be 100% right and in control 100% of the time. That's not humanly possible, of course, but you get damn close and your patients thank you for it. Problem is, applying that level of control in your personal life leaves no time for needed rest/processing and can alienate your loved ones.
Your performance prior to and during the pandemic required superhuman pushing and sacrifice, often around the clock. Many peoples' mental health went down the toilet and marital/parenting distress was through the roof for those who could work remotely during lockdown. How did your health and relationships fare while you were all but living at work navigating illness, death, and moral injury of a magnitude your training couldn't have prepared you for? How are you navigating the fallout?
Pandemics aside, burnout can happen -- and symptoms are usually suppressed for the sake of job performance until they manifest as anxiety, depression, physical illness, various fidelity breaches, dropped balls, and habits that can't be ignored. Where you have difficulty getting out of go mode or black and white critical thinking, you may have significant difficulty tending to self-care and your most important relationships.